You first need to decide if you want to get back with this person. Forget about what they want for a moment and concentrate on what you would like. Once you are certain, you will be much more convincing as you persuade the other person to give you another chance.
If you decide that you do not want to get back with your ex partner you should have no problem getting over the break up. But I don’t think you are willing to let that relationship go, do you?
You need to set up a meeting with your ex to discuss your future. Apologize for anything that went wrong, whether it was your fault or not; and agree to put it in the past. Yes you need to resolve your issues but you don't need to dwell on them.
Focus on the positives. What have you got going for you? Why should the two of you be together? Talk about the great times you have had, the history you share, the sexual attraction that burns between you and hopefully you will be celebrating getting back together very soon.
It may take a couple of meetings and a while to get back on track but it will be worth it. If you had a great relationship it is worth fighting for. Finding someone special to love who loves you in return isn't easy and shouldn't be given up lightly. Add to that a shared history, family and children and you will soon realize, if you haven’t already done so, that you belong together.
If there was a reason for your breakup, perhaps one of you had an affair; it doesn't need to spell the end. Affairs always happen for a reason. Perhaps you were not paying your partner any or enough attention. Perhaps they felt taken for granted. Or it could be something as simple as too many drinks at the Christmas/office party. None of these make adultery right.
I know that it is not easy to accept your partner sleeping with someone else; but you can get over it. If you still love this person and want them in your life, go to couples counseling and see if the therapist can help you both to work through your feelings. You may find that you cannot live with the deceit and betrayal and decide to split up after all. But you could also decide that by bringing all the problems into the open, you can resolve them and go forward with a much stronger relationship. You just need to approach the situation with an open mind.
Having someone you love in your life is far too important to let it go over something trivial or in some cases something very hurtful. So forget about trying to "recover from a breakup" and concentrate on getting your partnership back on track.
For more help with healing your relationship and getting back together, visit The Magic Of Making Up
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